sister love

Over Thanksgiving, I spent 8 days with the smartest, funniest, prettiest, most determined pre-teen girl I’ve ever met. My baby sister turned 11 a few weeks ago, and she amazes me every day. I hadn’t seen her in a couple of months and I swear she grew up way too much in those months. Even her face seems different. Older, less kid-like and more teenage.

She handles life with an innate sense of ambition and balance that is both impressive and intimidating. And does it all while managing to be sweet and likable and resilient. In all of her burgeoning independence, that kid is beginning one of the most volatile stages of growing up and becoming who she’ll be. What she discovers about the world and how she decides to process it in the next few years will have a huge impact on her identity.

And so I have this really unique relationship with an especially unique little sister and that sometimes scares the snot out of me. I love that she is my biggest fan and loves me with a sincerity that only siblings know. I also know that every word I say and every promise I make and every attitude I cop are being watched by this perceptive young woman…and often emulated.

I hope that I can be as real as possible when she’s watching, because I feel that will give her the best opportunity to become who she wants to be. I have this cool opportunity to be part of her family in a way that is not quite parental and not quite the usual sibling setup. Knowing she’s watching has influenced my decisions since the day she was born, whether I’ve been aware of it or not.

She’ll start junior high next year, and I’ll blink and she’ll be graduating from high school. I hope she grows up to be a little subversive, but not too much. I hope that high school and college teach her the balance of working hard and playing harder. I hope she has her first kiss with a boy she really likes, but only when she’s ready and I hope she gets butterflies and fireworks and sweaty palms. I hope she learns just enough lessons the hard way to be gracious and humble always. I hope so many things for this amazing young lady.

More than anything else, though, I hope that our relationship continues to grow and deepen as her perception of her world grows. I want to be the kind of big sister that asks tough questions that make her think and evaluate what matters to her. I want her to call when something big happens, and more often I want her to call for no reason at all.

I love you, little sister, neverending-infinity-plus-sister-plus-God.